7 Letters To My Daughters
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned on my journey, it’s this: you don’t have to be everything, but you can be anything you put your mind to. There is always a way.”
Our professional lives often begin with a beautiful self-imagined blueprint that if followed perfectly will give us the career we envision. However, life seldom aligns perfectly with our plans. More often than not, we set out on paths that take turns and sideroads that may seem vastly different from the dreams that once ignited a fire in our hearts and inspired us to create that blueprint. Along the way we take jobs we think of as mere stopgaps, paychecks, roles that 'fill the time' until the 'right' opportunity comes along, or until we work through something. Regrettably, this viewpoint might lead us to disregard the rich tapestry of learning possibilities that every work experience, no matter how seemingly insignificant, intricately weaves into the fabric of our lives and our careers.
The truth is that every job, regardless of its apparent relevance or irrelevance to our chosen field, equips us with skills and insights that contribute significantly to our overall professional development. These experiences and their value are often underestimated and overshadowed by traditional notions and outside pressure of career progression. Yet, a closer look reveals the value of these unexpected learning avenues.
I had the privilege of coaching Betty, whose narrative isn't extraordinary because of its unique circumstances; instead, it's compelling due to its universality. The pursuit of a degree that society deemed a mere four-year venture turned into a profoundly turbulent personal journey spanning five and a half years of relentless dedication alongside a full-time job waiting tables at a high-end restaurant. An additional three years to pay off student debt, saw Betty entering the “professional” workforce four and a half years after her peers. Initially perceiving this experience as a gross detour from her 'real' career path she struggled with feelings of self-doubt, disappointment, regret, and shame, convinced that she had squandered valuable years that seemingly did not contribute to her career objectives, while her peers raced past her.
As we delved deeper into her experiences during our coaching sessions, it became increasingly clear that Betty’s role as a waitress was far from inconsequential. Her years spent serving customers, dealing with the daily challenges of the service industry, and ensuring smooth restaurant operations had, in fact, equipped her with a formidable set of skills, most of which are highly prized in various professional spheres: multitasking, effective communication, teamwork, quick decision-making, resilience, attention to detail and an impressive understanding of human behavior.
The Art of Multitasking and Time Management
Every day in the restaurant was a test of endurance and agility, amid the continuous flurry of activity. Betty performed a wide array of tasks concurrently; she took orders, delivered dishes, settled bills, ensured her section's cleanliness, liaised with a large team in both the front of the house, and back of the house staff employees and managers. The multitasking and time management skills honed during this time are foundational competencies in any professional setting.
Honing People Skills and Emotional Intelligence
One could argue waiting tables isn't just about serving food—it's about understanding people and offers a remarkably insightful panorama into the complexity of human behavior. This environment was not merely a job, but rather an ongoing masterclass in emotional intelligence and people skills.
As Betty engaged with a diverse range of customers, each with their unique needs, preferences, and behaviors, she realized she was navigating an intricate sociocultural experiment.
Identifying subtle cues in customers' demeanors often signaled unstated needs or unexpressed dissatisfaction. This ability to sense and respond to implicit cues helped her develop a high degree of emotional intelligence, a skill invaluable in any leadership context.
Moreover, her capacity to adapt her communication style based on the individual customer's behavior is a testament to her sophisticated interpersonal skills. Unknowingly, during the dinner crunch, by treating each interaction as a unique case study, Betty was able to understand and cater to the spectrum of human emotions and behaviors encountered in ways that a classroom or traditional corporate environment might struggle to replicate. Her experience underscores the valuable, yet often underestimated, learning opportunities that the service industry can offer.
Emotional intelligence has garnered widespread recognition as a truly invaluable skill. According to a recent article in Harvard Business Review- Emotional Intelligence is defined as the ability to accurately perceive your own and others’ emotions; to understand the signals that emotions send about relationships; and to manage your own and others’ emotions. Extensive research consistently reinforces its profound impact, demonstrating that individuals with high EQ levels excel in fostering better teamwork, driving effective leadership, and elevating workplace communication.
Cultivating Hard Work, Persistence, and Adaptability
Working in the hospitality industry is no easy feat. Those long hours, frenzied pace, and the never-ending pressure can be quite intense. However, there's also something wonderful about this challenging environment. It's like a nurturing school where you acquire some invaluable life skills that stay with you forever and become your trusty companions on this journey, guiding you through the ups and downs with a warm embrace.
Tips to Triumph: Earning More in Hospitality Shapes Goal Setting in Business
The most immediate and tangible daily goal for Betty was to earn great tips, a process that directly correlates to setting financial objectives in the business world. In order to achieve this, she needed to strive for excellence, much like a business professional aim to deliver outstanding products or services to their clientele. She continually assessed the needs of each table, and swiftly resolved any issues. This constant cycle of setting objectives, creating action plans, executing them, and adjusting strategies based on feedback mirrors the goal-setting process in the business environment.
Gourmet Food and Fine Wine: A Metaphor for Detail-oriented Thinking and Discernment
At first glance, Betty’s knowledge of gourmet food and fine wine might seem unrelated to her broader professional development. However, this seemingly niche expertise actually offered lessons in discernment, detail-oriented thinking, and appreciation for complexity. Pairing the right wine with the right dish involves understanding subtle nuances, making discerning choices, and appreciating the fine details that contribute to a harmonious pairing.
As Betty and I explored the depth and breadth of her experiences, her perception of her past began to change. She started to see the richness of her experiences and the myriad skills she had refined over the years. Her perspective shifted from seeing herself as a mere waitress who had 'wasted' years, to acknowledging herself as a seasoned professional endowed with a versatile and valuable skill set. Her storytelling became lighter, and she soon shared some funny stories that were tucked in the recesses of her mind.
At the core of Betty's story, it underscores the fact that no job experience is trivial or inconsequential. Each role we undertake, regardless of how seemingly unrelated it might be to our career goals, is a learning opportunity that can propel personal growth and professional advancement.
Let’s remember that each job experience matters; each role equips us with a new set of skills, and each challenge overcome enriches our understanding of ourselves and the world around us. Career narratives are not defined by the relevance or prestige of our roles, but by our ability to learn, adapt, and grow through each experience.
It's a reflection of an often-overlooked truth: our professional development isn't always a linear path. The key lies in recognizing the value of each role we've undertaken, appreciating them for the unexpected lessons they offer, and utilizing those learnings to fuel our future growth.
So, if you ever find yourself questioning the value of your current job, remember Betty's story. Remember that no job is merely a detour. Each one is a steppingstone, equipping us with the skills, insights, and resilience needed to propel us forward on our unique professional journey. The only 'wasted' job is the one from which we learn nothing. And when we approach each role with an open mind and a readiness to learn, every job experience truly matters.